I have unearthed remarkable evidence concerning the aftermath of the Battle of Hastings. The Immediate aftermath. Like the first fifteen minutes. Something went horribly wrong and Duke William of Normandy was not best pleased.

It seems that in the course of the battle he lost something, something very precious and private, something so precious and private no one must even know it was missing. It had to be retrieved and retreived quickly. Only William, his hard hearted man Le Pedvin, and a Norman of little note called Martel, seemed to be in on the secret.

William sent them on a mission to recover what was lost and bring it back before anyone noticed. To disguise the nature of their task he engaged Ranulf de Sauveloy, a remarkably organised and meticulous Norman who was, as a result, widely reviled, and a Saxon called Cnud Mabbut, who supposedly knew his way round the country.

They set off from the battlefield in the dark of night on this vital expedition but trouble was also coming from the North.

I have entitled the piece the Domesday Book, (No, Not That one) to avoid any confusion.

Unfortunately it will challenge modern thinking about the Battle and will have historians up and down the country throwing their slide rules at the radio.

At last! I am gratified that The Tapestry of Death has found its way to Mr Amazon’s Electronic Bookshop. However, I am worried that this agent fellow has made a number of editorial changes which may not sit well with the academic themes of the work. He keeps referring to humour and comedy and how funny the book is, which worries me no end.  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tapestry-Chronicles-Brother-Hermitage-ebook/dp/B00E1LP9NM/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374312562&sr=1-3

He assures me he knows these things best, I should leave it all to him and get on with the next book.

We did though commission the most charming image for the front cover of the book from Adam Fisher, www. fisherart.co.uk. It does go to illustrate the constant threat of death which hung over everyone around the time of the Norman conquest.

With The Heretics, The Garberobe and The Tapestry of Death all published, the agent tells me I have written a trilogy – which apparently is a good thing. He says the next trilogy will be even better received. I told him in no uncertain terms that there was nowhere near enough material to construct three more books, when lo and behold he arrived with a trunk full of manuscript which he says he found in a skip, or a loft or somewhere. The cheeky fellow has even suggested titles.

I shall ignore him for the time being and press on with my remarkable researches into the hours and days immediately after the Battle of Hastings. It is a most illuminating tale and reveals an earlier version of the Domesday Book. I am using this as the working title but the agent has appended it to “The Domesday Book (No, Not That One)”, as he said it would cause confusion and then went on and on about copyright or some such. I assured him that the original Domesday Book must be well out of copyright by now and which point he said the original title wasn’t very funny – which was hardly the point.

Anyway, I have locked the door of the scriptorium to stop the fellow getting in and will press on.

This wretched agent fellow tells me that 10,000 people have bought a copy of a Brother Hermitage tale. It all seems a bit commercial to me, but he assures me this is quite normal.

To mark the occasion he suggested I leave the scriptorium for a world tour, or some such nonsense. Out of the question of course, I am just finalising some fascinating research into the time immediately after the Battle of Hastings. What could be more important?

Instead I have released into the world a short story concerning Brother Hermitage. It tells of a time the Brother visited a hostelry and interacted with the general populace. I believe it provides real insight into the troubles of the ordinary people of the 11th Century and so titled it, A Consideration of the Domestic and Intra-familial Relationships of 11th Century England, with Reference to Social Structures and their Dependence on Commercial Premises.

He called it Brother Hermitage in Shorts number 1. Hardly seems to be a rigorous title but I suppose he knows best.

When I told him it was free, he seemed to have some sort of attack, and told me had to leave for a long lunch.

It is available on iBook and Lulu http://www.lulu.com/shop/howard-of-warwick/brother-hermitage-in-shorts-no1/ebook/product-20960911.html

I have finally got The Tapestry of Death into intelligible shape. All the pages are in the right order and they all have words on them. Most of them in the right order as well.

It will now be checked over by a willing band of volunteers who will spot that the words aren’t in the right order at all.

The tale involves a lot of coming and going, strange people and places and the usual standard of behaviour from various characters. Generally a very low standard.

Hermitage and Wat do their best in the circumstances. This varies from insightful and constructive to clueless and dangerous. There are people from the church, from the world of crime, and of course the favourite people of the time, the Normans.

And then there’s the tapestry. The less said about that the better, but all is revealed in the end. Or should that be the end is always revealed?

Hard on the heels of The Tapestry, comes a short story from the Hermitage papers. Brother Hermitage in Shorts No. 1 will be available for free! As soon as I can persuade my agent that it’s a good idea and get an electronic bookstore to put the thing in the window.

I continue my researches into the period immediately following the battle of Hastings – or rather the battle near Hastings. I have uncovered some remarkable material, which will cast a new light on our understanding of the Norman Conquest. If it’s true of course.


The Garderobe of Death is out in the world and doing well. Very favourable comments have been received for which I am most grateful. www.amazon.co.uk/Garderobe-Chronicles-Brother-Hermitage-ebook/dp/B00A2ATM98/

As readers will know the book leaves Hermitage and Wat at the start of yet another investigation. The subsequent tale nears completion and is entitled The Tapestry of Death – I think I see a bit a pattern emerging.

This delves into the world of Wat the weaver and his highly dubious tapestries. I fear it is a world best not delved into at all but the truth must out. (Well I suppose strictly speaking it needn’t but I think it best if it does.)

The problem I see in The Tapestry of Death is that nearly everyone is corrupted in one way or another. Whether this is because they started corrupt and then found The Tapestry, or they found The Tapestry and thus became corrupt is a good question. One which the book seeks to answer in no way whatsoever.

I am only gratified that Hermitage seems to be as shocked by everything as I am.

As this new book draws to a conclusion I have uncovered a remarkable piece of new material. If it is verified it will revolutionise our consideration of the early Norman period of English history. If it isn’t verified it should still make a good story. So far, it does not actually involve Hermitage or Wat but they might turn up yet…